mettalx1

A deep thought enveloped in dark nothing there, not even a spark like a deep cave that was never found echoing, but in silence drowned Deep soo deep, im pos sib ly far as if meaning in meaninglessness is not far apart shrouded in black, still as death completely dejected, it's a home for dread No light or words can pass through it swallows everything and leaves nothing to loose an emotionless pit where I try to leave something but it swallows that too and leaves me with nothing Nothing Just a drop to show me there's a source But even if I found it the hole, the blockage and dug

With pencil in hand I will search for clues through the bitter discovery within the liberty of these words Determined to finally say, what I really feel I will not hold back in this solitary field; My expressions are blank like black ink on black paper but when I think about you it paints into a picture; Vibrant and full of spark, every stroke handcrafted with love the colors you gift on me, are more, than I could've ever want you fill my empty canvas with imaginations of your heart and sincerely show me a side I have long lost and forgot The colors will dry over, the crusts will start to tear, but the vision you had of me will always stay here, to show me that life was more than just a black

Waves of confusion smother the confession To what was lost now long in regression Hiding well behind placebo and illusion Refusing to show itself for any conclusion Sincerely honest in it's hide and seek concealing behind the virtue of the weakest link The one that pulls the strings to my gradual decline down where no thoughts mind for whatever needs to be revived And sometimes it whispers as if wanting to be found muffling words of clarity eager to make a sound Having the key I open the door to see That all what I hear Is echo

Lethargic, thoughts unclear, pathless all so inelegant, formless, pointless Where have I lost the lust to wonder? Motivation now driven by contentment in carelessness... nothing. drives. my. ambition. No true happiness yet no Will to push beyond monotone repetition Wasting minutes hours days `with no care in the world for it` Just tired, my eyes are aching Just sleepy, my head is heavy A dot of clarity that shows a goal; I will do it the next day and next day and next day and next day... ...never ever doing it It`s

Through the forests I go the trees silent and whole enchanting me with a relief so calm that I plant a seed of my own. Between the giants of grand and old I dig into the ground, hollow and cold Deep enough, there I plant my heart to rest between the roots of hope. Covering the hole in dirt and mold Watering the soil with my mind and soul Feeling the ground, soft, lush, comfort This must be it, my own as my whole. Time passes by, it crushed me in it's flow Unwavering waves of blight never ceased to destroy all I've owned Washed away on the shores of never-ending more I am not a conquestor, I now cease my sword. And again through the forests, I silently go The trees never-ending, truly a sight to behold Filled with contentment, I gracefully march on awaiting to see the blossom that I waited for soo long And there it was magnificent and in awe I finally sat upon my own throne of thorns.

Enthrall me with your blessing, make me see Shine my star in the black night sky, a dot of purity Fueled by the power of rage, it awakens me Burning up the disclarity... it tells me; "You are a fool in the making, contentment made you foul, the piece of mind that you feel inside, is nothing more than deceit that made you blind. You know your happiness cannot blossom here, the same old tired trap made your path unclear you will fall again in the hole of confusion and despair this will be the path from which you can never steer." I hear these words nail the clarity of the warning, still neutral and uncaring, will I follow them along? Or will the unavoidable fall crush my soul, and show me a new path to my exhausted goals? I wonder

This realization is opening the wound of emptiness it's crushing my heart with a stomp of coldness The epiphany of learning of my missing fragment, of me is draining out my soul and my Will out of my senses A new door of self-crushing ideas is inviting me in without a formal welcome, to greet me with a grin To show me the magnitude of my ignorance and failures, to smear them and hang them, until it was the only thing to savor... ...pain and isolation is a learning experience, in which this one comes in the form of bluntness now endlessly bleeding, through my soul, I am finally beginning to be whole. I now understand... ...my pain inside. A blessing and a curse, I now know what I must find.

I offer myself, split me open See what hides inside of me A pool of blood, a darkened heart Lamb right for the killing. Take the knife, push right in Remorseless, it's the perfect sin Feel it as I do, the time is ripe For this time love kisses with a crimson slice.

Still weak, still in pieces why am I allowing my mind to ponder on these questions? None of them matter none of it ever will Insignificant at best, a waste of time in the worst cases Even if it's for a brief moment, I feel it crush my balance one that I worked hard for, one that helped my transcendence A clearer state of mind, a loss of regret for minute problems and now I have to start from the beginning.. ..but this time with more on the shoulders. I wont let this build on, in my heart, I know where I must go forth No one can convince me otherwise, I travel alone. It's the reason I was strong, I am, and will be forever on (if I didn't question myself, my answers would be lost in mourn) My strength lies in my hands, my mind and my

A heavy weight lingers in my heart With a loss of words I don't know where to start There was one clear direction but now it seems so apart As if I lost my guidance that showed me my disregard For the ember deep inside that lighted my path that showed me the brightness and colors of my thoughts it stopped the thorns from getting to my gut where it would twist and turn until I was apart... I lost the fire that warmed my soul It was the light that showed me where I had to go My negligence a virtue which I still can't control and now because of it I'm exasperated to my core..